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to see if i still feel
15th-Feb-2009 06:44 pm
I have no idea where i stand....im probebly closest to a hippie, but my music taste is vast and i like to wear all black cuz it looks good on me.  I think of myself as pretty free spirited but i only let myself be to a point i guess, the whole disposition of these catogories makes no sense to me...and the reason the music i listen to is so vast is because i've been through just about every one is some phase or another... i did the hiphop sneakers and all thing...i did the goth, the punk, the major hippie, the cub kid, the "i dont like labels" thing, i still go through them all almost daily, theres also about 20 others maybe their subcatorgories i dunno but the badass, the innocent (that didnt work well for me), the druggie, now what am i, a mix? is that even possible?  sometimes i feel like this: ugh i just dont eunderstand society or where i fit in with it, and everytime i put a label on myself i just go to too much of an extreme with it, i have such a mixed group of friends, i dont understand any of them, and i know none of them understand me, i even have like really close friends, who i know that logially im close with, we talk all the time spend tons of time together and love and care about eachother, but i dont actually feel close with anyone, i dont actually feel any sort of connection with other human beings, i often dont feel liek im human, i mean does anyone else out there feel this way, i've asked a few people they had no idea what i was talking about,   i often feel liek i shouldnt be in society, like my mind is too impulsive and scary to be around people, i should be in a psychward, i would feel safer, a padded white room would be nice, with no one, just me, i wouldnt be able to hurt anybody, or care so much about being close with someone.
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